Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Tent For 2

I signed. I look towards your desk, you are chatting with Jessica. I signed again.
“What’s wrong, Taeng?” Yuri ask and squeeze my shoulders. She follows my line of vision and land on the observing object.
“Its her huh? What happened?”
“I…. don’t even know.” I’m serious. What happened to us? Only you know the answer.
“Alright class.” Mdm Im stomps into the class with her killer heels echoing.
“Morning Mdm Im.” The class greets half-deadly.
“Okay, well, first thing, you guys will be heading to Pari Island next week, 9 march for a study trip.” The class roar with cheers, since it means we don’t have to attend class like usual.
“Knew you kids will be happy for the news. Let me brief you all about the agenda of the study trip.” Mdm Im goes on and on about the trip, while my gaze is fix on the certain someone. A sign escape again, since I knew I would be spending my birthday on the foreign land, with high chances of being alone.
“Hey, are things okay between you guys now?” Yuri nudges me on my arm.
“No.” I answer simply. You are still not talking to me and I don’t know what I did wrong. Its even worse knowing that we haven’t reconcile on my birthday. It’s dreadful knowing that you are not celebrating my birthday with me, like always.
“Take this chance to talk to her, Taeng. I will help you create chances.” She smiles, assuring me. I smile and thank weakly at her, appreciative towards her kind thoughts.
“Hey Fany.” I greet like usual, and receive the same greeting over the past week.
“Hey.” The same cold and uninterested tone.
“Do you need –“
“No need, thanks.” I offer to help you with your life vest, but you harshly reject me even before I could complete my sentence. I look at Yuri and she mouths “hwaiting” to me. I drag my heavy feet towards the boat that will be bringing us to the island. I found a seat and Yuri took the seat beside me. She said nothing, but she knows that I needed her there.
I sigh again.
After the 3 hours of torturing bumpy boat ride, I walk out of the boat. I hold onto the railing and finally make out onto the shore of the island, alive. Yuri isn’t doing any good either; she‘s suffering from seasick as well. I hold onto her arms and we walk, clumsily to the gathering point. When I was feeling slightly stable, I put on my glasses and look around. I caught you looking at my direction but you turn away immediately. I know you are worried about me. I smile inwardly.
“Alright kids, since you know, this is an island and we have a budget, we will be sleeping in tents tonight!” the class groans at that idea not announced before they were here.
“Come on kids, don’t complaint!” Mdm Im guide us to the island town hall where we are ordered to put down our bags and set up our tents individually.
“Kids, there is the list of the sleeping arrangement.”
“Sunny with Sooyoung;
Jaejoong with Yunho;
Yesung with Donghae;
Nicole with Hara;
Hyomin with Eunjung;
Jessica with Yuri” I look at Yuri, she’s gulping down her saliva. She must be nervous to be bunking with her crush.
“Finally, Taeyeon with Tiffany.” Mdm Im announced and hand us each a tent. Seems like God is helping me on this now. I mentally thanked Him for answering my prayers. I took the tent for 2 and moves towards Tiffany.
“Hey, you can go sit there while I pitch up the tent.” I point towards the large log lying somewhere near the empty field. You nod and walk away from me when I was expecting you to say; “Nah Taetae, I will help you.” But guess I was wrong. I sigh and drop the tent, unzip the bag and grab the rods; assembling them together, slotting them into the holes of the waterproof material. A sense of accomplishment filled me when a solid firm tent is right in front of me. I turn behind and a sudden human being caught me off guard.
“Nicely done.” You said and gather your things into the tent. I quicken my pace and saw Yuri, having problem fixing the tent together, a slightly angered Jessica folding her arms. I jog towards Yuri and lend her a helping hand. Jessica still has a piss look on her face and I whisper to Yuri that everything will be fine in the day. She smiles bitterly and walks off to gather her belonging. When I reach the foot of the tent, I unzip the entrance and found you dozing on your bag as a pillow. You look so peaceful. I place my bag down carefully, afraid that I will wake you up with my entrance. You stir a little and resume your sleep. I smile unknowingly and squat down beside you, taking in your beauty essences in progress. I brush off the bangs, wanting to get a clearer picture of you since I hasn’t been able to recently. I sigh at the cold war we are both engaged in. It seems like you sensed my blues since you begin to stir and rub your sleepy eyes. I move away, allowing you to stretch your arms.
“How long was I asleep?” you say nonchalantly.
“Not long. Lets get going, I bet Mdm Im is getting impatient.” I extend my arms, expecting you to decline but you hold onto it and got up. Our intertwined hands didn’t remain attach as you let go when you are out of the tent. I sign again.
“Okay kids. Now that everyone is here, we shall begin our study trip.” Mdm Im announces after everyone have gathered at the meeting point.
“Jessica’s cold towards me, Taeng.” Yuri is whining and complaining how she’s didn’t manage to pitch a tent on her own just now.
“Well, ice will melt one day. Be her heat” I advise. The heartbroken is advising on love, ironically.
“I will, but the thing is, will she accept the heat?” Yuri whispers to me when Jessica walks up, and over took us. I sigh when I look at the person walking beside her. When is this cold war going to end? I kept quiet and we walk in silent.
“Okay kids, we are here to test on the chemical substances in this island’s sand and compare it with the one in our lab. Take out the tools and equipment and get going.” I pull out my testing kit and did the procedures. I add in some chemicals and wait for some reactions. I jot down my observations and keep the equipment neatly, not forgetting to take some sample in a test tube.
“Alright kids, since most of you guys are so diligent in doing the task, you all are granted free time till we leave tomorrow! Have fun and don’t wonder off too far in this foreign land!” the whole class cheer and whistle.
I look toawards your direction again, since I can’t help but to look at you every moment I can.
“Hey, we are playing volleyball and frisbee. Do you want to join us?” Sunny ask politely to us.
“Sure why not?” Yuri replies and pulls me along, towards the crowd that had gathered. You are amongst the rest. We divide ourselves equally and sadly, I wasn’t teamed up with you. We played, perspired and had fun, momentarily for me. When the rest call for the day, you walk away with Jessica beside you again. It seems like you are avoiding me for reasons that I’m not aware of.
“Hey buddy, you alright?” Yuri waves her hands in front of me.
“Ye..ah.” as if I am.
“You both will be fine after tonight. I’m sure.” Yuri winks at my devilishly. I knew what’s on her mind and I whack her arm for polluting my mind.
“What! It’s not like you didn’t do it before!” Yuri sticks her tongue out and runs away. Not in the mood for a chase, I stroll back to the assigned sleeping area. Since it’s a vast land of green, I had difficulty finding the right one among the field pitched with 15 tents of same design. I navigate my way aimlessly and finally stumble upon the right one, which happens to be the only tent lighted up. I guess the others are still out there enjoying the sea breeze while you are resting in it already. Wanting to seize the chance, I unzip the tent and settle myself down.
“Hey Fany.”
“Hey.” The same cold response. I must think of a way to make things the way it was before.
“Hey I was wondering… if you’re hungry.” I ask randomly.
“Yeah, a little.”
“Oh, do you want me to go grab you something to eat from the town hall?”
“Yes please.”
“Alright!” I smile at our tiny conversation. Although it was just a small conversation, it’s a progression nevertheless. I dash to the town hall, grab the bento sets that were prepared for us and sprint back. I was panting a little when I was back.
“There you go.” I hand over a pack of food to you.
“Thanks.” You thanked me with a soft smile. A tiny firework was playing in my heart.
“Here, let me help you.” I open the pack of food, cut the meat into bite pieces and scoop a mouthful of rice with a piece of meat.
“Say ahhh.” I flash a toothy grin. You didn’t show any expression, but opens your mouth and accepts my feed. Second round of fireworks is playing inside me. Although I amhungry, I didn’t mind feeding you first and only eat my dinner after I make sure you finish every bit of your dinner.
“Have a drink.” you hand me a cup of barley water.
“Thanks.” I smile widely. Third firework now. I finish eating my dinner quicker than I had expected, maybe I don’t want to lose any minute to converse with you.
“Fany, are you sleepy?”
“Not really. Why?”
“Oh, I thought you are since you are resting in the tent.”
“I was feeling a little tired from playing just now.”
“You were great just now! You know, you slammed the ball well!”
“Thanks. You were great too.”
“Thanks!” I smiled shyly, blushing a little at the complement. Silence was evident in the air since none of us spoke after that. You are packing your stuff and I was, looking at you packing your stuff.
“Do you need help?” I ask. We are speaking as though we are strangers.
“Nah, I’m good.” You continue to pack without looking at me.
“I’m turning in, can you help me switch off the torch?” you announce and zip your bag.
“Alright.” I reach for the torch at the corner of the tent and switch it off. You were lying there, with your bag as a pillow, while I was, staring at you. You are shivering a little since you didn’t have a blanket over you and our tent is facing the ocean. I lay down, keeping a distance between our bodies. You are still shaking. I peel off my jacket and cover your upper body.
“Can you keep me warm?” your simple request caught me off guard. I didn’t reply and snuggle closer to you, hugging you from behind. You always love it when I hug you to sleep.
“Feeling better now?” I can feel your head nodding but your body is still cold. I tighten my hold around your slender waist. It seems like your body is receiving the heat from mine well, seeing that your body is more relaxed compared to before. I sigh; hot breathe escaping my chilled lips. When my eyes are about to shut when your sudden action shook me awake. You’re facing me now, with your eyes wide open.
“Ye..s?” I ask, confuse. But instead of answering me, you shut me with your lips crashing on mine. I sneak my arm behind your neck, bringing you closer to me. One peck, 2 pecks and it continued. I bite your lower lips gently, trying to gain entry and you gladly allow. Our tongues dance within the confinement of our mouths, merrily. It wasn’t long that the soft and tender kisses became wild and passionate.
“why-“you shut me with kisses again when I am trying to speak in between breathes. Sensing no harm in it, I return your gestures. Your hands start to roam around, gently touching my back, waist and thigh. I’m a little surprise how you are treating me now, as compared to the couple of past weeks. But I don’t care how about it, what matter now is what’s presented in front of me. You lift my shirt a little and c it came in contact with my soft skin. I jerk a little and you held me closer. Your hands are roaming around my bare body. Before I realize, my bra is unclasped and you have the access to the ‘golden chest’. You gave it a little squeeze and I moan inaudibly, muffled by your kisses. You remove my glasses and throw it away.
“mhhmmm.” That’s all I can say. You continue with whatever you’re doing, grabbing and turning [i]it[/it] in circular motion. You shiver when you felt my cold finger tips hugging your bare back and stroke down your spine. I snuggle closer, leaving no gaps in between our bare stomach. Our legs are tangled like a tied knot. You put off my shirt and bra off effortlessly, and I did the same. You took a break from our French kisses, and proceed to plant feather-like kisses on my neck and collarbone. I tilt my head, giving you more access to my fleshy neck. You plant a trail of wet kisses from my neck to my abdomen to my stomach. Your hands are still working on my tits. My continuous moans must have turned you on. Afraid that my moans will be overheard by others, you smash your lips onto mine, holding both my hands above my head. I try to break free from your tight grip, but you will not let me escape. You hold onto my hands tight, intertwined with yours. I am fidgeting under your body, and you smile – I can tell that your lips is curving up. You seem to love it when I’m trying break away from your grip, wanting to touch you, desperate to feel you’re your hot skin. I groan softly, irritated that you’re not letting me to do what I wanted to. Your hobby is to tease me. You release our intertwined hands, but still have both of my hands firmly secure with your left hand. I blame God because you have stronger grip than mine. You smile again and we continue with our kisses. Knowing that you are tensing me like always, I decided to shut my lips tight, refusing to let you enter. You smirk; I knew you have something up in your sleeves. With your right hand free, you run your finger tip down from my tits all the way to my waist and you proceed to draw circles on it. I squirm and whine a little. You chuckle at my failed resistance. It wasn’t even a minute long that I decided to raise the white flag and let yours into mine. Our bare bodies are connected with no air molecules in between. I am still stubborn on getting my hands off yours. You tighten your hold on me and start your way to my navel. You unbutton my denim shorts and slide your hand down; but you stop before reaching the [i]it[/i]and remove your hands. I whimper again and I can tell you are enjoying the tease. I hate it when it’s going the way you’re planning. You start working on my tits instead. With your left hand still gripping onto my hands, you detach you lips from mine and move down, covering my mouth with your right hand. You lick in a circular motion and I moan but it was muffle by your right hand. After getting my response, you work on my erected nipples, nibbling and sucking it hard. I cried and try even harder to break free from your grasp. I was trembling. You left the one that you were working on and aim for the neglected one. I whined helplessly and you knew if you would to let your hands go, I will explode. You remove your right hand covering my mouth and we are engaged in a lips-bruising kiss. I return your kisses double the energy since I can only kiss you under the tight grasp of your hands. Our tongues clash and slide our way into each other’s. With your right hand still free, it roams about my bare upper body freely, without any restrictions. You pinch my nipple and I jerk a little. You smile and continue touching what belonged to you, and only you. It seems like you’re getting bored of your upper body that you decided to proceed to the lower part. You slide your hands into my jeans and I twitch. I am clutching onto your hands tightly as waves of ecstasy run through me. You move your hand further down and felt what I had released. You grin victoriously knowing that you have this effect on me. You start to massage my wet panties against my core. I moan louder and louder, giving you the attention that you desired. You tried to insert a finger in, along with my wet panties. That clothing of mine was restricting you from digging deeper, so with a single movement, you remove the last few pieces of mine. My glistering clit is greeting you and I know it is. I’m leaking badly. I sigh inwardly knowing that your touches have this effect on me. With no hindrance now, you insert one finger in, with your thumb massaging my clit. Our kisses didn’t break. My hips jerk up. I need you now. You start off with slow and steady rhythm. I spread my legs open, wanting to reach my climax soon. My nails dig deeper into the back of your left hand but you didn’t seem to mind. It wasn’t long that you shove 2 more fingers in. I arch my back and my hip was swaying left and right, in sync with your pumping fingers as waves of shocking pleasure fill me. I moan your name into your mouth, and your grin’s wider now. With my hands still safely secured in yours, I cry with satisfaction as your pumping gets vigorous and up-beat, but was again, silent with your continuous kisses. My hip was rocking wildly with your fingers stroking deep. You massage my g-spot and I hit jackpot. The sensation send down my spine eagerly wants to touch you, but you kept your grip tight, not allowing a chance for me to slip through. I whine helplessly under your clutches. I release whatever I had inside me and my sweaty body slams back onto the ground, releasing the tight grip with your left land. With my eyes still close, I let out a long breathe when you finally stop your kisses. You peck my lips and kiss my forehead. I am drain and I didn’t bother moving my body for an inch.
“Taetae, I hope you like the present I got for you. You know, distance makes the heart grow fonder.” You brush of my bangs.
“Happy birthday Taetae, I love you.” you whisper into my ears huskily while I drift off to sleeping land, smiling like an idiot.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Episode .11 - Changes


“Yes Steph?”

“I want to play merry-go-round!”

“But mummy reminded us not to leave the house until she is back from the post office!”

“How about we play it in-house?”

“How do we do that?”

“Simple.” Stephanie tugged her arms into Jessica’s arm. She then turned to her right with lighting speed, pulling Jessica along with her in a circular motion on the spot. After a short spin, she added “like this!”

“You are really smart, Steph.”

“Thanks for the compliment, Jessi.” With that said, both girls turned and swirled around the living room. Little do they know that an accident it about to happen.

As Jessica is getting a headache from all the spinning and turning, she loosened her grip in her arms. Plus, they are going on with abnormal fast speed, the loosen grip sent Stephanie stumbling on her way and land straight towards the display cabinet. With her unbalanced footing, her head crashed into the glass panel. Broken bits of glasses shattered across the living room with Stephanie crouching down holding her bleeding head.

“Oh my god, Stephanie! I didn’t mean to push you into the cabinet. Are you feeling okay?” receiving no response, Jessica shook her friend’s body, demanding an answer from the latter to ensure that she hasn’t passed out. “ANSWER ME! STEPH!”

Stephanie could vaguely hear Jessica’s words. Her head is throbbing with pain. Her vision slowly became misty and blur as tears start to form in her eyes. The cut stings badly.

Just then, Simone opened the front door, surprised by the sight in front of her. She immediately dropped the letters and keys to rush to her daughter’s side.

“Jessica! What happened?!”

“Mummy! Please save her. We were playing, and then she lost her footing and crashed into the glass.” Jessica responded right away, afraid that each second might take her friend away.

“Okay baby, everything will be fine. Go grab the keys and get in the car now.” Simone hugged the injured petite girl into her arms as Jessica ran across the living room to get the car keys as well as opening the door for the mother. On the way out, Simone grabbed a piece of clean cloth. After closing the door, Jessica dashed forward to open the car door.

“Baby, call Uncle John now and tell him that we are sending Steph to the hospital. Also, press this cloth on Steph’s bleeding.” Simone spoke with worry as she loaded the injured girl into the back seat, with Jessica following.

Simone hastily turned on the engine and speeded down the road, every now and then glancing at the rear mirror to ensure that Stephanie has not passed out.

Stephanie does not know what is happen. She only knows that her head is splitting and she can feel wetness in on her forehead, something that is similar when she is perspiring, but she knows it’s not sweat.

“Jes..si” Stephanie mumbled as she felt like her body is giving up on her.

“YES? ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?! DON’T SLEEP OKAY! REMAIN AWAKE STEPH!” Jessica is so worried that she might burst any moment. She blamed herself for letting Stephanie’s grip and seeing her friend’s weak body in front of her, she felt hurt. She wished that she was the one who crashed into the glass panel; she wished that she was the one bleeding and the one suffering all the pain now.

“ok..ay” Stephanie manage to say this before she passed out completely. Shortly after that, the car reached the hospital and Simone ran into the emergency ward with the injured girl in her arms.


“We need help here! This girl is bleeding profusely!” Simone yelled across the recipient area. The nurses quickly rolled a sick bed towards the trio.

“We will get her treatment. Please stay here and register her before heading towards the ward” The nurse instructed while rolling the bed towards the emergency ward. Simone ran to the receptionist and got the procedures done. She held on her daughter hand while making her way towards the ward. Just then, Stephanie’s father entered the entrance.

“Simone! What happened? Why is Stephanie here?!”

“I’m not sure about the whole incident. But let’s head towards the ward first and see if she is fine. Come on.”

All the while, Jessica is fighting back her tears so that she will not break down. She doesn’t want her fear and worries to be represented with tears. Furthermore, she knows that her best friend would not want to see her crying face when she is conscious. After a few minutes of waiting outside the ward, the doctor on duty came out and requested to speak to the patient’s immediate family.

“Are you the patient’s father?”

“Yes I am, doctor. What is wrong with my daughter?” Stephanie’s father questioned the doctor while grabbing the latter’s arm. He can’t afford to lose another kin of his.

“We suspect it is a case of head concussion. There are cuts on the patient’s forehead. We have to do a CAT scan before I can tell you exactly what is wrong. But fear not, her life is not in danger and the scan is just precautionary. The doctor replied calmly, so as not to alarm the family any further.

“What is a head concussion, mummy?” Jessica nudged her mother, hoping for a response. She desperately needed one.

“We have already done the CAT scan and the results will be out by tomorrow. The hospital will inform you accordingly. You may enter the ward but the patient will only regain conscious after a while so please remind quiet.” The doctor continued as he did not heard Jessica’s question. He took his leave and the trio entered the ward, to see a small petite girl with bandages on her forehead lying on the hospital bed. Her father walked to the side and stroked her hair lovingly. He can’t bear to see her daughter like this, but it will hurt further if she is gone like her mother. Simone noticed that the dual needed some time alone, pulled her daughter out of the ward.

“Jessica? What exactly happened when I was away?!”

“We were playing merry-go-round. Then I got dizzy and release the grip on my arm. Steph lost her footing and crashed into the cabinet. She was bleeding and I did not know what to do. I kept screaming and screaming then you came back.” Jessica was recalling and explaining the whole incident with her head hanging low and only looked up when she mention her mother. She is guiltily and she blamed herself that this is happening. She started to sob quietly, unable to resist her raging tears.

“Okay. I understand honey. Hush hush.” Simone pulled her daughter in for a hug, just what she needed. They remained like this until Jessica’s sob subsidized before Simone continued.

“Head concussion happens when your head hits a hard object. The brain will shift and hit the skull’s boney surface. The impact will result in pain which might be too much for Stephanie to handle. That is why she passed out. It could be serious but luckily, she did not suffer any fatal injuries. So everything will be fine, baby” Simone explained it clearly to her daughter because she knew that her daughter need to understand the current situation well so that she will not blame herself and learn from the lesson.

After the short talking session, the mother and daughter returned to the ward and notice that Stephanie has already regain conscious. Jessica rushed up to the injured girl’s side and hugged her tight. She was glad that her best friend is okay, if not, she would not forgive herself. Simone pulled John away from the chair and explained the whole incident to him. He nodded his head while listening and kept his vision on the injured girl.

“It’s okay. I trust that you will not let anything happen to her, which is why I put her under your care. But I really hope none of this will happen again.”

“I will never let this happen. It ache me to see her like this” with this being said, they both turned and looked at the girls.

“STEPH! You scared me! You were bleeding just now!”

“I’m so sorry for scaring you.”

“How are you feeling? Are you okay now?” Jessica questioned her again while placing her hand on injured girl’s forehead, as if she was having a fever.

“I am feeling better now. My head is not that painful anymore. Stephanie smiled as she reassured her friend’s question.

Just then, the doctor entered the ward.

“I was informed that the patient has regained her conscious so I am here to conduct a simple check-up.” The doctor spoke to the adults before making his way towards the hospital bed.

“Hello girls. I am a doctor of this hospital and I am here to ask you a few questions”

“Okay.” Stephanie replied simply.

“What is your name?”

“Stephanie Hwang.” when she mentioned the name, Stephanie felt a short sharp pain in her head but she ignored it and continued answering the questions.

“Okay. Do you know how old you are?”

“I am 10 this year.”

“Excellent. Tell me where your hometown is.”

“I moved here when I was 7. I stayed in Korea before.”

“Very good. Tell me more about your childhood.”

“I think I lived with my father near the eastern area in Korea. After that… that… I think I stayed in a childcare while my daddy is at work. I was always alone but I am glad I’ve got Jessica here with me.” Stephanie’s father got closer to her daughter as he thought that there should be more her answers. He wondered why she didn’t mention Taeyeon’s name when answering the doctor’s questions.

“Baby, you remembered that you have a play mate when you were at Joah?”

“Do I? I.. cant.. really remember.” Stephanie tried to recall her playmate while searching her name and face in her memory bank. But sadly, a vague face appeared in her mind. She can’t remember how she looked like exactly and what her name is.

“Who is your father?” the doctor continued his check-up procedures.

“Right there, John Hwang.” Stephanie replied while pointing her index finger towards the direction of her father.


“Doctor, what is happening to my daughter? When can’t she remember what happened 3years ago?”

“She is suffering from Retrograde Amnesia. It is a form of memory loss for events prior to the accident. She does not remember or vaguely remembers them. She only seems to forget about that specific period of time. There is nothing to worry about it. The memories will come back in pieces like puzzles when she wants to remember them.”

“Is that so…. Okay doctor.”

“The scans result will be out tomorrow morning. If there is no problem, your daughter will be discharged in the noon. Well, I will take be leave then.” The doctor bowed slightly to the patient’s kin and exited.


*the next day*

“Nurse Lee, please help me call for Stephanie’s father. Tell them that the CAT scans’ results are out.

“Here they are, Doctor.”

“Thank you Nurse Lee.” The doctor said to the nurse before diverting this attention to Stephanie’s father. “Take a sit.”

“Like I have said, the CAT scans’ results are out. I want to tell you what exactly is happening to your daughter. The injury has slightly damaged her left brain. If you have noticed, there is a cut on the left of her forehead.” John nodded to the doctor’s explanation but remain silent while the doctor continued. “Our brains are divided into 2, the left and the right. The left is in-charge of the past and present whereas the right is present and future. Because her injury has damaged the left, it will affect her past memories. Do you get it so far?”

“Yes doctor. So you are telling me she will lose all her past memories?”

“There are chances where she will recall them but it is all up to the patient.”

“I get it.”

“Okay, if there are no further questions, you may proceed to the counter for discharge procedures as your daughter is okay.”

“Thank you, doctor.” John stood up and held his hand out for a handshake. The doctor gladly accepted while sending him out.


Stephanie went to her bedroom after her discharge. She slumbered on her bed as the hospital bed was as hard as a rock. She wanted some proper rest. Just before she was drifted to her sleep, she noticed a glass bottle sitting on her tabletop, with three blue stars contained within.

What is that? Did I made them or did someone give it to me?


After taking a full day rest, Stephanie insisted on attending her school as she has already missed three days of lessons although her father said otherwise. Being persistent and firm, her father allowed her to go ahead but he spied on her daughter’s movement. He is worried that her injury might cause inconvenience in school so he decided to stay till the end of school.

Art lesson was the first lesson of the day. Stephanie pulled out her sets of colouring kit and placed on her desk. While doing so, she felt a tight embrace from her back. She squealed while her head turned to her right. The person did not want to be caught in action shifted to her left. She shifted their heads simultaneously. Finally, Jessica then popped her head in front of her best friend and the latter squealed again due to the shock. The teacher walked over to check what the commotion was about.

“Got cha!”

“You are such a meanie, Jessica Jung! Humph!” before Jessica could reply her friend, the teacher is already at their desks.

“Stephanie, are you feeling okay?” the teacher came over to her table and knelt down so that their eye levels are the same. However, when the teacher mentioned her full name, the girl felt a sharp pain in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut as the pain was becoming unbearable. The teacher noticing that the girl was not feeling well, put her hands on the latter’s shoulder and gave a light squeeze; “Are you okay, Stephanie? What is happening?” the pain was too much for the girl to withstand. She did not know she is reacting this way. Suddenly, her mind began playing a series of episodes.

“Stephanie, you are a motherless daughter!”

“You are really bad in Korean, Stephanie!”

“No one is playing with you, Stephanie and you know why? Cause nobody likes you!”

John from afar noticed her daughter’s odd behaviour, came forward and excused the daughter from the teacher. Jessica remained seated at her desk while she eyed the father and daughter exiting the room’s door.

I hope she is fine. A defeated sigh escaped from Jessica’s lips.


“Baby, baby. Are you feeling alright?” Stephanie’s pain in the head has subsidized and she felt a lot better. She opened her eyes and her father was in front of her, eyes filled with concern and worry.

“Yes daddy. I don’t know why I always have a headache especially when people mention my English name. Daddy, what is happening to me?”

“You are doing fine, darling. Everything will be okay.” John assured her daughter by pulling her into a hug.


John entered her daughter’s bedroom after he witnessed what happened to the latter this afternoon. He thought of a solution. He knocked on the door before entering.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“Oh daddy. I was wondering why I have this bottle of blue stars here and there are only three of them. Daddy, do you know what are they for?”

John approached her daughter and sat on her bed before continuing, “They hold a special meaning to you and someone. You promised someone that you will fold a blue star for her on her birthday which falls on 9th march. Does it ring any bell?” Stephanie tried to think back but she failed miserably. She can’t remember making this promise and that someone she promised to, but she knows it holds a significant meaning.

“No bells ringing, daddy. But I will continue to fold them every year. I think it is important.”

“Yes, it is. She was very important to you but never mind that, you will remember her one day. Oh yes, I wanted to talk to you about something. You said you will experience headaches when people mention your full English name right? I was wondering if I should change your name to Tiffany. What do you think?”

“Tiffany? I like that name, but why that?”

“Because your mother wanted to name you that, but I opposed. I thought Ste…” her father paused at the name before moving on because he was afraid that it will bring pain for her daughter. “…your current name was more suitable. Since that name is bringing you unnecessary pain, I thought it would be appropriate to change your name. After all, it was one of your mother’s unfinished wish.”

“I would like to finish mummy’s wish! Okay. Now I will be called Tiffany! I will thank mummy for this beautiful name in my prayers!

“I am glad you liked this name. I’m sure your mummy will be delighted. It’s getting late, come on and get on the bed.” John tugged her daughter well with the covers and kissed her forehead as a goodnight kiss.

From now on, I’m Tiffany Hwang Mi Young. She mentally spoke to herself while drifting off into her sleep.

Friday, March 18, 2011

How I wished…

“What do you love about me?”

“I love everything about you; your eyes, your nose but most importantly, your smile and love for me.”

“But... I do not know what I love about you. Let’s just break up.”

Yes, I was heartless. That was a conversation of my boyfriend and me when I was younger. I do not care about others’ feelings until I met you. You have changed everything about me, every single one. How I wished I have never know you. But I can’t.


One day, I received a text message on my phone.

-Hey! Hello JunSu!- I was quite taken back by this anonymous person that sent a message to my number. Maybe that person got the wrong number.

-I’m sorry, but do I know you?-I replied and continue what I was doing earlier. Before I could proceed doing anything, I felt a vibration from my phone. I took it closer to my face and the text message read:

-Maybe you have seen me in school before. :) :) - I wondered who this person was. So we carried on to text one another regarding your identity.

-Can’t you just tell me your name already? Lol.- I texted you back because I couldn’t wait any longer to know who I am texting with the whole night. I do not like the feeling of being unknown.

-I’m YooChun, your senior. Ring a bell?- Actually nothing came into my mind when you mentioned your name. I put down my pen and started thinking who this person was. Still, no bells were ringing.

-Not really. Did I actually meet you before? Hah.-

I tried thinking who you were. I felt bad for not remembering you at all.

-We met during the team camp, remember?-

-Still no bells ringing. Throw in more clues. Haha.-

-Remember the section where you are supposed to pick out straws from a pool of flour?-

Okay I think I heard silent bells ringing. I think I recalled someone who played flour with me after the game station was concluded. With the leftover flour, someone threw a handful worth of flour towards me. Being a slowpoke, I reacted slowly and got hit by the snow-liked flour on my hair and face. Seeking revenge, I grabbed a handful worth of flour and launched forward to return the attack. But I was stopped by my team leader because we are supposed to head off to another game station. Maybe you were the one.

-Are you the one who attacked me with flour?!-

-Yes I was the one. Finally you remembered who I was!! I’m delighted!- I smiled at the text message. I can picture you with a happy smile plastered across your face.

I remembered this is how we first talk to each other over a communication channel. I was actually excited to meet you in person because you protracted to me a friendly and warm image. I knew I had to meet you. How I wish we could talk this like, again.


Ever since then, we have been hanging out a lot during school time and after school. A lot of our school mates were getting suspicious of our relationship. But I do not care what they are saying about us. I am comfortable as who we are now, brothers.

I was visiting my grandmother off the outskirt of Seoul when we were texting each other, as usual. Just then, I received a message which content is something that I would never expect, although it was something that came across my mind.

-Will you, Kim JunSu, willing to be my partner? -

I was goofing around with my cousins when I received your text. I didn’t give a serious thought about it since I was in a happy-go-lucky mood. I immediately replied a yes even though I wasn’t sure what was I signing on.

-Sure! Why not?! Hahaha-

That was how we started our relationship as lovers. How I wished this moment had never happen.


Since I have met you, my character changed. I became more extrovert and outgoing. You have opened my world to a totally new dimension. I was glad you came into my life. However, life is full of sudden events.

Dear Junsu,

You know I have strict parents. Now I am like a strapped bird in a cage. I can’t go out of my house because the main exams are coming and my parents are very worried about my declining grades. Since it’s my last year of school, it is really important to me. They’ve even confiscated my phone from me. That is why I wrote a letter to you. I want you to know that I will always love you like now, forever and ever. Remember this okay! My dearest dolphin! Do not miss me too much okay? Once the exam is over, I promise you can have the whole of me! Meanwhile, please study hard for your exams too.



I read the letter and put it aside, into my mini safe box. I continued to study but my mind was filled with you, and only you. Since then, you wrote me umpteen copies of letter that my mini safe box was exploding with them. But one day, I received a letter that I would never want to receive.

Dear love,

I am so sorry for not spending any time with you. You know how sad I am right? I am so sorry. The studies are tedious for me. I cannot manage both sides well; you and studies. I have to forgo one so that I can concentrate on one. I am so sorry dear. I have to study hard so as not to disappoint my parents. You have no idea how stress I have been these days thinking about you and my studies. I cannot take it anymore, dear. Sigh. I know you hate me now for doing this, but I have no choice. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Let’s just break up.


Your YooChun

I have no idea tears were already streaming down my cheeks as I read this in my room. I wanted to salvage this relationship, but I couldn’t, because your studies are at stake, meaning your future. I do not want your future to be diminished because of my selfish act. I believe that our love will last, because you promise me that you will spend time with me after the exams, after all, I am the only person you loved in this world, right? How I wished this was the truth.

The time without you was hard to manage. I was lethargic for most of the time because I couldn’t get over the fact that we had broke up already. I thought out mighty love would conquer all difficulties but I was wrong. I decided to do something after your exams were over. I was hoping that everything would revert back to what we use to have, but how wrong I was.


I came by your house the day after your papers ended. I was holding on to your favourite chocolates and a letter that was hand-written by me. You wouldn’t know how much tears will spill in the process of writing it, but I was elated that your papers were finally over and we can start anew again. After sometime, I saw a silhouette wearing a school uniform walking towards my direction. I smiled from ear to ear as I waited patiently for your presence to be in front of me. I waited so long to be able to see you, I longed for you warm from your hugs and your kisses. I missed every part of you so badly that a single tear escaped my eye. I brushed it off because all my suffering would end soon, after a minute, or so I thought. I can see that your footsteps got heavier when you were approaching your apartment, I thought you delighted to see me, but how wrong was I.

“Dear!” I jumped over to give you a tight hug. But you didn’t return the hug because I wouldn’t feel the warm from you. The warm you use to shower me with, the warm that I have longed for, the warm that I realize was lost the moment when I hugged you. I knew something was off but I brushed the thought off because I knew there was a happy reunion waiting for you, me; us.

“Here! I’ve got you chocolates and a hand written letter!” I handed over the items to you. You extended your arms forward slowly; I can tell that you were reluctant to receive my presents. I do not want to question you why. I do not want us to quarrel over minor issues like this because I am awaiting the long waited reunion and that it is going to happen soon.

“Are you happy that I came by my dear?” I asked him. I realize that ever since we’ve met, you haven’t said a word. I wondered why but I kept my silent.

“JunSu… why are you here? I thought you were busy.” You sounded low and unconcern.

“You are more important of course. I missed you so much!” I tried to sound as happy as I can be because I knew something was amiss. I wanted my chirpy mood to destroy the unhappiness within you.

“I... missed you… too. But…but things are different now.”

“How are things different?” I looked into your eyes. I want to know why this is happening, because what I feared is happening.

“We broke up, JunSu. You shouldn’t have come here.”

“But I thought you said I am your only love?! You promised me that you will spend time with me after your exams ended?!” I end off my sentence in a demanding tone. I wanted to know why. *plays KYHD*

“Look Junsu.” You grab hold of both my arms and looked straight into my eyes. “We are done and over with.” Someone please slap me. I need to be awake of this horrible and terrifying dream of reality; this harsh and cruel truth.

“But… why…” before I couldn’t even finish my sentence, you took off into your apartments, leaving me stranded on the lonely pathway. As I watch your back leaving me, I felt the cold and hard fact hit on me, the fact that you are leaving me. It wasn’t an easy task. I bit my lips as I wanted to launch forward and grab hold of the love we share, the love we used to share. But it was all gone; disappeared into thin air. But a part of me is holding back, because I love you too much, I am letting you go, letting all of it go. YooChun, can you hear my heart calling out for you. No, I know you can’t because you abandoned me. I am crying, so is my heart. But at the same time, it is bleeding. I could feel my internal organs bursting over of my already lost-control body. I wanted to explode, but I know this is not the right place. I took the last look of your apartments, because I know if I walk out of here, I will never ever going to come back to this place, where it is filled of sorrow. I feel an imaginary stab at my heart when I realize you were long gone, you did not even look back at me, not even a slightness bit. I finally accepted the truth, you left me. I dragged my feet off the pathway and walked aimlessly around your neighbourhood. I wanted to hide and pour my tears out. I want to remove my heart so that it would not hurt so badly, so bad that it would suffocate me if I am hurt any further.

After that meeting, we did not meet again. My heart and mind just died. I could not think and eat properly. I cried to sleep every night, reading your letter over and over again. I know what I am doing can’t bring you back to my side, but I just want to recall my memories with you. I am doing what I can to heal my heartbreak but nothing is healing my wound. Not even a sorry from you can heal the wound. It permanently left a scar that naked eye can’t see, but what a broken heart can feel. I had a thousand WHYs to ask you, but i bottled it down within myself. Because I that even when I have the answers, you will not be here anymore.

All beautiful moments have an end, so does ours.

The beautiful memories that we have shared, are stored in my safe-lock mind. What can lock it will be the key of sadness.


Dear YooChun,

We have been dating for 2 years now. The time we spent together was great. I have always been thankful to God for sending an angel like you down to earth instead of making you stay by his side. You were so kind and gentle towards me, making me fall deeper and deeper each day without fail. I was so thankful. I knew you loved me too, just like how I loved you. And I know you loved me more than I do. My mum often said it’s always better to find someone who loves you more than you do. I’m thankful for that as well. How i wish...

Loving you always,


Monday, March 14, 2011

Discover (2/2)

Jae stay put on his feet after Yunho closed the door. He stood there in this thinking position; rested his head on this thumb and index fingers which are supported by his left arm. He desperately needs to find out the reason why Yunho has been out of space. He knows that it is affecting Yunho's studies and life, and more importantly, it is affecting him as well. He stood still thinking but nothing came to him. He decided to get in the house first and maybe, just maybe something will come to him when the time is right. He knocked on the door in front of him.

"It’s you? Why are you still here?" Yunho asked while narrowing down one of his eyes.

"Oh I just remembered that my sister is holding some party at home today. She said that i can’t be back before it ends and I got nowhere to go. So I thought I can stall for time at your place. But it’s okay if you mind. Cause I totally understand it you know." the whole while Jae was fidgeting around with his hands in his jean's pocket.

"It’s alright. Come on in" Yunho said and turned his head around, walking into his apartment while leaving the door ajar for Jae. Jae took a step in and sighed. "Step 1 completed" he thought to himself. Now he just needs to stay normal and get comfortable so that it will not arise any suspicion.

“Remember to close the door. I will go get a drink for you. Get comfortable.” Yunho said with his back still facing Jae while heading towards the kitchen. Although they have been friends for a long time, it was actually first time that Jae had step into the house after what happened 4 years ago. After since that accident had happen, Yunho did not allow anyone to enter this apartment. Jae didn’t know the underlying reason and he respected the fact that Yunho needed his space alone since his only kin has passed away. He lived with his granny since young. Yunho had never once mentioned anything in regards to his parents to Jae since he did not find the need to and his memories of them are vague. There weren’t any major changes to his apartment, the tables and cupboards are still at the same position, the pictures of Yunho and his granny are still there on the counter-top. Jae took one of the photo frame closer to him, it was when Yunho entered the school that he is attending now. Both of them have bright smiles plastered on their faces. It was a long time since I’ve since Yunho smiling like this. Jae sighed to his thought when Yunho called for him.

“Your drink is on the table.”

“Okay thanks. What are you doing now?”

“Nothing much. Just laying down and listening to some music.”

“Carry on with what you are doing then. I will just read my book.”

“alright.” Yunho lay down on his mattress (ondol) and plucked in his earphones. He shifted towards his left so that there is enough space for Jae on his right. He patted his hand on his right to signal jae to fill up the empty spot beside him. Jae grabbed his book from his bag and took a sit beside Yunho. He opened his book to the first unread page and glance over to the body beside him; the body that belonged to someone who is dearly precious to him. But this person was no longer the person that he knew. The person that used to be optimistic and energetic wasn’t there anymore; it was filled with sadness and grieves. Now this person is only a capsule without a toy in it, a pill without the medical content in it, a camera with a battery or film in it, a body without a happy heart in it. Jae wanted to put the toy in, fill the medical content in, replace the battery and film in and most of all, and bring the happiness in. He knew he had to do something. Soon, his head felt heavy and he needed to lie down so that the heaviness will go away. He covered his face with the book over him as he slowly relaxes his mind. His mind is filled with memories that he had spent with Yunho, the past Yunho. They are playing by itself, skipping from scenes to scenes where they both had shared quality time together. But the streaming of the scenes were paused as if there was a lost of connection when Jae felt warmth on his stomach. He lifted his book slightly up, with the edge of the book still touching his forehead. His eyes were shot wide open when he discovered that the warmth was emitting from Yunho’s left arm. He titled his head slightly to his left to notice that yunho’s face is actually inches away from him. He must be asleep now. Jae brushed Yunho’s fringe that was covering his eyes. He craved for the smile to be plastered on the face right in front of him. He leaned in and kissed Yunho’s forehead. Yunho moved closer to Jae’s body, towards the warmth. Jae was delighted that he can share this special moment with Yunho, but he was more elated to see that he was fast asleep. Let me be your sleeping pill. You will not die for consuming me, but I will die if you continue being how you are now. I want you to heal from the pain and grieves that you are holding on now. Throw them away or pass them to me. I am more than willingly to accept it if it will exchange happiness for you, Yunho. With that, he kissed his forehead again and lowered his book so that it will cover the fact that he is tearing up.

In the mind of Yunho:

My mind is relaxed. I guess I am asleep now, finally. A smile formed on my lips as I felt lighter. Something on my left felt comfortable and it drawn me in. I want to know what that is. I moved closer to the source of the comfort and I was right, it was warmth and I felt something else. I do not know how to explain this but the feeling of it makes me happy and relaxing. I love this moment right now, here. Everything is bright and warm. Just then, I hear a steady beating soon. It was a smooth rhythm and it seems like my heartbeat has sync together with the rhythm. It was peaceful and clear. I hope this is going no-where; because I want it to be always now-here.

notes: okay guys. how is it? tell me how u feel! cos i got a idea of a one-shot. hehehe