Episode 2 – Past

“Hi Taetae!”

“Hi Stephanie! You are finally here. I’m bored. No one is playing with me.”

“Here I am now. My daddy was busy so he was late when fetching me here. “

“Why does your daddy fetch you to school? My mum does it. My daddy is always at work.”

Stephanie is unable to answer her playmate’s question. Images of her mother surfaced in her mind and soon, she was mesmerizing the moment she shared with her mother.

[i] We were at the beach celebrating my mother’s birthday. My father booked a room at the beach resort so that we can spend a day together watching the sunset and barbeque. I was my first time there because my father hardly spent any time with me because of his busy work. When it is the daytime, I am awake but he is away with work. When it is the nighttime, he would return home after I sleep. The only time I can see him was when he worked at home during Sundays. I cannot understand why he loves working so much; maybe he just doesn’t like me. That’s what I thought. Therefore, I was very happy and excited that for the first time, after I was born for six years, I can finally spend my time with my mother and my father, as a family.

Evening is nearing, so my father went to set-up the BBQ pit and my mother preparing the ingredients for it. I wanted to help but both my parents were afraid that I will be a trouble-maker and ruin the BBQ.

“Don’t touch this. You might get hurt Steph!”

“No no steph! You go outside and play okay? It’s too dangerous here.”

After all, I was infamous for my carelessness. I got bored so I wonder off to the beach and played on my own with the sand. It was around 5 in the evening by then.

“Stephanie! Where are you going? Don’t wonder too far okay? “

“Yes mummy! I won’t “

While I was building sandcastles, I noticed a shining piece of seashell by the shore. It glittered and shined like a star. I walked upwards, tempted to pick it up and present it to my mother as her birthday gift.

“I bet she will love it!” I thought to myself.

When I took it up, I found another shiny seashell and picked it up.

“Now I have, 2 of them!”

There was actually a trail of shiny seashells after I picked up the second one. So I followed the trail until there was none in sight. But little did I know, I walked to far away from my parents’ vision and now, I’m all alone on the beach. The night is darkening each second, and I’m scared, extremely scared.

“I want my mummy”

I cried as I ran, shouting “Mummy!” “Mummy where are you?”. I was panting hard. I looked around me and the surroundings are still unfamiliar to me. I sobbed harder and cried my lungs out. I slammed my body down on the sand patch.

“Maybe if I stay still, mummy will find me. Just like when I play hide-and-seek with mummy.”

I consoled myself and stared upon the night sky. There are plenty of stars that illuminates through the dark sky. Soon the tiredness took over my body and I fell asleep.

“Steph! Steph! Oh god. Please be okay!” I was awaken by the continuous bumping against my body; my daddy was carrying me in his arms running.

“Daddy?” this is the only word I managed to mumble as a rub my eyes to see where I was. I did not have any water or food for the past hours. It was dawn by now.

“Thank god you are okay Steph! Thank god.” He slowed down and kneeled over, letting me off his arms. He checked my body if I’m okay. I looked around but I couldn’t find the person I was looking for.

“Where is mummy?”

“Mummy? Mummy is… mummy is at the hospital. Let’s hurry.” He finished his sentence and loaded me on his back and piggybacked me to his car.

We arrived at the hospital and went directly to the ward that my mother was at. But, my mummy wasn’t there.

My daddy rushed to the receptionist and asked about the whereabouts of my mummy before we made a dash to another part of the hospital. The walkways were quieter and more spacious compared to the other ward I was before. While my eyes were gazing at the new surrounding, my daddy pulled me closer to him before hailing a stop before a ward. From there, we were greeted by a person wearing a white robe, which I suppose is the doctor. He and my daddy exchanged comments before my daddy face hardened. I can’t figure out what they was saying, maybe they are using jargons or I’m too short to catch any words. So I stood there still, looking upwards to check on my daddy’s face expression. Shortly after that, the doctor patted on the crown of my head and headed out. My eyes are fixed on my daddy’s face, I knew something was wrong. I pulled my daddy’s sleeve, trying to get his attention to me.

“Daddy. What is wrong with mummy?”

“She, she is fine baby. She just needs her rest. She will be fine in no time. Let me send you back home first. Come on.”

I tugged closer to my daddy. My instinct is telling me that; things are not that simple and surely enough, I was right. After a few months, my mummy passed away. I went straight into the depression stage. I was miserable and lost and eventually, I became introvert. [/i]

“Stephanie? Are you still there? Do you always space out?” Taeyeon was sounding concerned for her playmate.

“I’m here, always here. I’m just thinking about some things.”

“Let’s play soccer! Com’on!” Taeyeon say to her playmate and dragged her of the sand ground before she can say anything.